FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

It’s 6:30 in the morning, the smell of eggs and toast coming from the kitchen.  Your clothes are already laid out, your book bag filled with brand news supplies, and you rush down the hall to get ready.  It’s the first day of school!

You’re thinking about who will be in your class, if you’ll have any friends, whether or not your teacher will like you, and you feel a little anxiety about the upcoming challenges you know you’ll face.  Even with that, you can’t wait to go.  You can’t wait to get started.  It’s the first day of school!

You get on the bus in your crisp new clothes and look around for someone that might welcome you.  You see two girls with their hair done exactly the same, snuggled together giggling, then you see four or five boys with their heads down in the back of the bus unaware you are even there.  You begin to panic but just as soon as you start to doubt, you see a young face staring right back at you so intently it’s as if you are the only one around.  With that one gesture, you know you’re all right.  It’s the first day of school! 

You get off the bus, to a brand new building that seems like a whole city.  You can see the evidence of others before you in the scuffs on the sidewalk and the scratches on the freshly cleaned doors.  You walk in with the echoes of the past ringing in your ears.   It’s the first day of school! 

Walking into your new classroom, you know that you will have much to learn, yet you feel comfort in knowing it is the beginning of what will be a wonderful year.  You know you are where you’re supposed to be, doing what you’re supposed to do, and that makes it exactly the right time.  There is nothing to fear …

It is simply the first day of school.

LISTENING TO CARLOS SANTANA!!

Late in the fall, I had the chance to go to an industry event in Las Vegas called the Sunset Sessions.  It's a great event centered around launching new artists to radio programmers and music supervisors.  I wasn't there to perform, rather I was there to do some networking and see if I might be able to perform in the future.  I do hope to return at another session, but even if this was the only piece I get...it was incredible!  At the end of the day, Carlos Santana came to the sessions to give a very intimate question and answer session.  I'm not sure how it all worked out, but for some reason I ended up right in the front with an incredible view and got to witness a conversation that was literally life changing for me.  He spoke very intimately about his career, struggles, musical influences, the Grammy's, faith, and much more, including some great stories like the one in the video.  After sitting there for a few minutes, I realized I should get my camera out and start video taping.  This is one of the stories I got on camera...enjoy!

THE MAGIC

Being a musician is more than just being someone that makes music.  Most people wouldn’t consider their job to be inseparable from who they are as a person, but that’s what makes musicians different.  It’s not a choice as much as it’s something that is just part of you.  It’s what you HAVE to do: to be balanced, to be happy, to be fulfilled…You MUST make music. 

That is me.  There are a lot of people that really don’t understand that about me.  Even though I function well when I’m not making music, if I don’t have it, it’s like I start to lose a piece of myself.  I feel lost. I feel uneasy.

It’s hard to describe what it feels like to share songs and moments with an audience to someone that has never done it.  That high you get from the energy of a show, the pulse of the music that resonates through ever piece of your body.  It’s incredible.  It’s unlike anything else. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s a dance track, a slow emotional ballad, or an experimental jam type song.  The style is irrelevant.  The power, is in making someone feel it. It’s about sharing an emotion.  In that moment, you let yourself be consumed with that emotion and in return, the whole room becomes consumed by it too.  That is magic. 

To be perfectly honest, that’s what I live for.  Those moments when you get to feel that.  It’s like falling in love, over and over again.  It’s what makes me a good wife, it’s what makes me a good friend, it’s what makes me a stronger person.  Living for that little bit of magic….

It’s what makes me, ME.

Sunrise

Sometimes it seems I try to live my life as if I can control how the sun will rise.  I plan the colors that will spread the sky, the exact time it will make it's entrance, the level of heat radiating to the ground below.

Having a plan can be critical to success but can't it also be the exact thing blinding me?  

I love a good plan but right now I'm figuring out how to break out.  How to be scared.  How to be unprepared.  How to just go with what's in front of me, even if I have no plan for what's ahead.  

I'm letting my dreams be big enough that they scare me!

I'm letting my sun rise, according to the way nature unfolds.

So for now,  I will just sit and watch the sunrise as it will rise with the colors it wants, the speed it feels is right and the warmth it has to give for that day.  I will sit in amazement at something that works perfectly, even without my help. 

LETTING PEOPLE IN

Sometimes the hardest thing isn’t letting go, it’s letting people in.  

Letting people in, doesn’t really come naturally for me but I realize that if I am going to be a good musician I have to be able to be vulnerable and honest.  That is one of the reasons I am doing this blog. It is forcing me to do that. It’s forcing me to let people hear my struggles and understand that neither myself nor my life are perfect. I don’t have everything figured out and I don’t know exactly what I’m doing. I’m taking risks, going on a journey that has no clear path, entering into a business that is very judgmental, and pushing myself harder than I have ever done before.  And for what?  To live a harder life? No.  For fame and glamour?  No.  It’s actually a lot simpler than that.  It’s because I realized that I’m not trying to take over the world, I’m just trying to find my little piece of it.